Lost

Ever feel like you’re lost within your own life?
I’m stuck in the middle of my old life and my new one right now. I’m in limbo.
I can see my old life as clear as day. But it’s long behind me now.
My new life is ahead of me, but it’s foggy. I can’t see where I’m going. I’m scared I’m going to trip over a tree root and delay myself of where ever it is I’m going.
With Steve away, it’s hard to plan my life. He is, after all, a part of it. I know I’m in a situation were I have to be independent and plan for myself and monkey right now, but it’s still hard. I didn’t exactly choose a good time to quit my job and hunt for another. I’ve always had a job to go to when leaving one. I’m driving myself crazy right now. I wish I could be a stay at home mom. I wouldn’t have to put myself through this then. I would have a full time job. To raise and care for my baby boy, and teaching him all he needs to know. Instead I have to do that plus work for someone else and entrust my baby to someone else’s care.
I don’t have a plan for my near future and it is driving me crazy. I almost feel hopeless. I’ve been actively looking for a job for over six weeks now with nothing in sight so far. How do other people land great jobs and make it look effortless? I land crappy ones while trying hard! I have so many work skills that are dying to come out. I just need someone to give me a chance.

On a side note, I thought I would share the outcome of monkey's frist cheesie snack.

You can see some of his back molars in this shot. I didn't think eleven-month olds had molars yet. He has four so far.

Until next time.